​I’m sitting here

And I don’t know if

I’m actually sitting 



So don’t 

Just don’t 


I know the words

You’ll say

I have them memorised


But something’s off


Something is missing

It’s on the tip of my tongue


A snap of my fingers

And it’ll come to me


What’s going to happen



Now that we know

What we wanted

Isn’t going to happen




Did you really want them to happen?


It’s okay


You don’t have to lie to me


You have finally

Found the courage 

To speak your mind


So speak

Just speak


Bang your fists

On the marble

And speak through the swelling tears

Cause I’m cold


So cold


I’m cold for you

But oh, so warm

Get it?


It’s okay

You don’t have to


I can live with that




You can paint yourself


With all your lies


Let it eat you up

From the inside



Cause I feel it

I feel the loss


I am at a loss

Of words


Talking about it convulates 


muddling the pool

Where I’m just trying to sink


So don’t 

Just don’t. 



​Through unspeakable terrain

And a journey so remarkable 

The beetle finds himself 

Land upon the windowsill

                                                 upon its back


Its spindly legs

Frail about frantically 

Trying to correct the world

At least from its perspective 


The beetle is greeted

With an occupant of the



Its a spider

Slowly it descends


Quickly it pounces

On the beetle


Spinning web upon the

Beetle’s spindly legs


While the beetle

On its back

Tries frantically to escape,

Eluding the spider





From my desk


As these events unfold


And ponder on the dilemma I’m presented


If I watch and not act

I condemn the beetle

To death


For if I aid the beetle

In its escape

And the spider starves

Another day


In chess, it’s called Zugzwang

When the only viable move

Is not to move at all


And as long as you don’t make a decision

Everything is possible