I watched the waves of cement
Crash against the shore
While the manilla sunset
Raged towards its destination
I watched for what seemed like hours
Thought that if I squinted my eyes
Hard enough I could
Capture the flame
And keep it for my own
The flame can’t be so easily tamed
It demands sacrifice
Of the most penultimate
Resource known to mankind
Time
Fucking, time.
Take it
Take it all
I want to feel something for a change
I want to feel something deeply
When the warmth from a thousand splendid suns
Finally reaches me
I wanna welcome it with a smile
Saying, “I’ve been expecting you, my darling”
I want to upset someone
For no good reason
I want to howl against the moon for shining too bright
I want to pour myself into a glass
Have me shaken, not stirred
And gulped down so I can find refuge in someone’s belly
I want to make someone feel something for a change
I want them to feel something deeply
I want to dissipate from denial
Into anger
Edge around bargaining
Until acceptance is never found
Float up into tiny spaces
Sting eyes, and nose and lips and all
Starry eyes and runny noses
My friend told me she hates the beach
It’s vastness makes her feel she isn’t enough
I don’t even bat my eyes when I retort back,
“I never feel enough”
