Enough

‚ÄčI watched the waves of cement 

Crash against the shore

While the manilla sunset

Raged towards its destination

 

I watched for what seemed like hours

 

Thought that if I squinted my eyes

Hard enough I could 

Capture the flame 

And keep it for my own 

 

The flame can’t be so easily tamed

 

It demands sacrifice 

Of the most penultimate

Resource known to mankind

 

Time

 

Fucking, time.

 

Take it

Take it all

 

I want to feel something for a change

I want to feel something deeply

 

When the warmth from a thousand splendid suns

Finally reaches me

I wanna welcome it with a smile

Saying, “I’ve been expecting you, my darling”

 

I want to upset someone

For no good reason

 

I want to howl against the moon for shining too bright 

 

I want to pour myself into a glass

Have me shaken, not stirred

And gulped down so I can find refuge in someone’s belly

 

I want to make someone feel something for a change 

I want them to feel something deeply

 

I want to dissipate from denial

Into anger

Edge around bargaining

Until acceptance is never found

 

Float up into tiny spaces

Sting eyes, and nose and lips and all

Starry eyes and runny noses

 

My friend told me she hates the beach

It’s vastness makes her feel she isn’t enough 

I don’t even bat my eyes when I retort back,

 

“I never feel enough”

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