Enough

​I watched the waves of cement 

Crash against the shore

While the manilla sunset

Raged towards its destination

 

I watched for what seemed like hours

 

Thought that if I squinted my eyes

Hard enough I could 

Capture the flame 

And keep it for my own 

 

The flame can’t be so easily tamed

 

It demands sacrifice 

Of the most penultimate

Resource known to mankind

 

Time

 

Fucking, time.

 

Take it

Take it all

 

I want to feel something for a change

I want to feel something deeply

 

When the warmth from a thousand splendid suns

Finally reaches me

I wanna welcome it with a smile

Saying, “I’ve been expecting you, my darling”

 

I want to upset someone

For no good reason

 

I want to howl against the moon for shining too bright 

 

I want to pour myself into a glass

Have me shaken, not stirred

And gulped down so I can find refuge in someone’s belly

 

I want to make someone feel something for a change 

I want them to feel something deeply

 

I want to dissipate from denial

Into anger

Edge around bargaining

Until acceptance is never found

 

Float up into tiny spaces

Sting eyes, and nose and lips and all

Starry eyes and runny noses

 

My friend told me she hates the beach

It’s vastness makes her feel she isn’t enough 

I don’t even bat my eyes when I retort back,

 

“I never feel enough”

mataram

at a turning point

My mind seeks success

And I miss
the light at home
The light at the diwali morning treks
The light at the last period before Vande Mataram

And I miss
the light in people

The unstoppable light

And I see
that it isn’t what you study
it is how you study it
– all knowledgable is valuable –

What have I done here?
What am I here for?

Why do I think of this so often?

I miss
stories

I miss
home.

Everyday now
Beyond homesickness
Beyond the food
Beyond.

I miss home in every sense of it

Because I know now,
where I want to be

And my heart seeks home

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Time Eater

​Twisting and turning

In my sleep

While the ghost of my memories

Hold me down and don’t let go of me

 

They sing ballads of the past

And the future

And

         Judge everything 

                                            I do

 
Marble is softer

Than the most honest embraces

And the the truth serenades lullabies

That I choose to ignore

 

Promises that I’ve made to myself

Would have been followed

If only I spoke them out aloud

 

The same mistakes

Would have been avoided

If only I could scatter away the remnants of my past

 

Truth’s perception has been corroded

It’s been called a bitter pill to swallow

It has been said to sting the ears

 

But truth 

Is the sweetest of concoctions 

Its beautiful honesty will make you blush

Its genuine talks will move you

 

I know this

Yet I do nothing

 

I eat time

And I devour souls

Till my hunger is satiated 

And all that is left in my mouth is ash

Evolve

Colorized-Historical-Photos-03

The flick of an arrow
Snuffs the touch of flame

Embracing.

And I watch
Do nothing

But watch

Fists shatter against concrete
Pipes embrace flesh

Irrevocably.

Back to the start
Dripping sideways

Helplessly

I watch helplessly.

Do nothing

Absolutely nothing

But watch
As time plays muse

Telling things unknown

Comforting

Change has come
It’s not here to stay

For change, changes

It won’t be the same

Cause time

Chases me..chases me..chases me

Through the undergrowth
Below the sparkling river

High above the midnight clouds

The way to me

Is hard to find

For this moment. Right now
I am evolving

Fireflies

unnamed

This night is dark
It leaves a pain in my chest
Fireflies flutter around
Brightening their own lives

Without them realizing

My words will forever
Be lost in the wind
But what I feel in my heart
The dreams I’ve dreamt

They are yours, and yours forever

My hands in my pocket
Would forever be around you
If they could
But you need not worry, my love

For you’re forever my firefly