The Room

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Hot air rises,
Cold air sinks,

Teeths tend to chatter,
And eyes start to blink.

Blink.

A darkness flashes,
And shadows play
With each other upon
Walls and
Beds
And
Fans
And laptops.

Mosquitos bite,
My quick hand slaps.

I hope I missed
“It flew away in time, perhaps?”

She rubs her hands
And sinks her teeth
Into soft, tender flesh,
Sucking deep
Biting more
Bumpy roads
Leading her to shore.

Putrid smoke rises,
Grey ash sinks

Into a bottomless pit
Of bad decisions
Guilt, unquenchable.
Sleepless and
Tired
And
Lonely
And bored.

My eyelids open
And slowly shut,

I beg my mind for a dream
A deal with me, it cuts.
Sleep of no dreaming, no more,
But twisted,
Convoluted,
Harrowing,
Visions.

Dreams are dreams. You made a deal.

The sun rises
The room sinks

The kitchen, the bed, the
Bathroom, I’m on the brink
Of running, and running, and running
Away
And
Leaving
All
Of it behind.

I think I can outrun it, until..

Again, I see the darkness rise
And feel my heart sink

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Bombay

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The rains came

Waves stirred hungrily

Towards the starving bay

The clouds came

Painted the city

Into shades of blue and grey

A little girl came

An impoverished child,

Happy to pose for all the pictures in the world

“Take a rose from me didi, it’ll bring you good luck” she insisted.

With no money in my pockets, I looked at her apologetically.

But nothing was going to deter her from spreading her magic.

She placed a rose in my hand

I asked her, “Show me where you live?”

She stretched her hands to the sky

And plopped on the ground

She smiled the biggest grin

I had ever seen

Her heart was broken

Tattered into rubble

Very much like the pavement

Upon which it fell

I didn’t have to ask her

Why.

I knew

All you had to do

Was look into her eyes.

‘The city glitters at night”

She proclaimed

As we both glanced

Beyond the horizon

Towards our future

And the rising tide.

Enough

​I watched the waves of cement 

Crash against the shore

While the manilla sunset

Raged towards its destination

 

I watched for what seemed like hours

 

Thought that if I squinted my eyes

Hard enough I could 

Capture the flame 

And keep it for my own 

 

The flame can’t be so easily tamed

 

It demands sacrifice 

Of the most penultimate

Resource known to mankind

 

Time

 

Fucking, time.

 

Take it

Take it all

 

I want to feel something for a change

I want to feel something deeply

 

When the warmth from a thousand splendid suns

Finally reaches me

I wanna welcome it with a smile

Saying, “I’ve been expecting you, my darling”

 

I want to upset someone

For no good reason

 

I want to howl against the moon for shining too bright 

 

I want to pour myself into a glass

Have me shaken, not stirred

And gulped down so I can find refuge in someone’s belly

 

I want to make someone feel something for a change 

I want them to feel something deeply

 

I want to dissipate from denial

Into anger

Edge around bargaining

Until acceptance is never found

 

Float up into tiny spaces

Sting eyes, and nose and lips and all

Starry eyes and runny noses

 

My friend told me she hates the beach

It’s vastness makes her feel she isn’t enough 

I don’t even bat my eyes when I retort back,

 

“I never feel enough”

Say

So I put a stopper to my tongue 

Cause I feel if I say too much,

If I address all the bees in my head
They would be real.
So I put a stopper on my brain

And pray to God that, the thoughts are kept at bay

Cause I’d rather take the thrashing waves,
Than the storm.
So when I say,

Whatever I say

I don’t mean it, lightly
For when I say

I want to memorize all the embraces, you gift me

Remember the way you look at me,

Smile,

And call me names.

I don’t mean it lightly
If I say

That I love how your skin brushes against mine

The way you slyly grin at me, for thinking you’re a clever motherfucker

I don’t mean it lightly
If I mention 

How the infernal mountains, pale in comparison to your beauty

How I love when your soul brushes against mine

I don’t mean it lightly
When I say

You bring along the musty rains 

And drench me to the skin

Please, don’t take it lightly
So, if I say, 

All these things, and not

I promise, I don’t mean it lightly.

mataram

at a turning point

My mind seeks success

And I miss
the light at home
The light at the diwali morning treks
The light at the last period before Vande Mataram

And I miss
the light in people

The unstoppable light

And I see
that it isn’t what you study
it is how you study it
– all knowledgable is valuable –

What have I done here?
What am I here for?

Why do I think of this so often?

I miss
stories

I miss
home.

Everyday now
Beyond homesickness
Beyond the food
Beyond.

I miss home in every sense of it

Because I know now,
where I want to be

And my heart seeks home

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Synchronous Bloom

​Your body

Is my pilgrimage 

Of worship

 

A place

Where my hands reach to

Offer absolutions

 

I use my silvery tongue

To get you around the bend

And tell you that your flesh 

 

Blesses mine, with a stain

That’s more than just skin deep

 

So I press my heart against yours

Waiting for the two drums

To beat as one

 

I press my mouth against yours

And eat the words 

That died upon your lips

 

My mouth traces

Every inch of your skin and bones

Until my hunger is satiated

 

A sliver of the midnight moon

Bathes us while we

Tangle ourselves deeper into one another

 

Every heavy breath, a sonnet

Every bite, an ode

Every moan, those three tired words

 

The air is heavy

With the scent of old perfume

While our two bodies talk

 

The burden on my hands, absolves

The stars in the sky, dissolves

And the argument our bodies have, resolves

As we bloom synchronously