Say

So I put a stopper to my tongue 

Cause I feel if I say too much,

If I address all the bees in my head
They would be real.
So I put a stopper on my brain

And pray to God that, the thoughts are kept at bay

Cause I’d rather take the thrashing waves,
Than the storm.
So when I say,

Whatever I say

I don’t mean it, lightly
For when I say

I want to memorize all the embraces, you gift me

Remember the way you look at me,

Smile,

And call me names.

I don’t mean it lightly
If I say

That I love how your skin brushes against mine

The way you slyly grin at me, for thinking you’re a clever motherfucker

I don’t mean it lightly
If I mention 

How the infernal mountains, pale in comparison to your beauty

How I love when your soul brushes against mine

I don’t mean it lightly
When I say

You bring along the musty rains 

And drench me to the skin

Please, don’t take it lightly
So, if I say, 

All these things, and not

I promise, I don’t mean it lightly.

Litla Dimun

​He tied his boat off and started to climb the cliffs. He knew that no one had lived to tell what was behind the cloud, but still he climbed. His weary limbs, an exhausted soul, an aching heart, and a mountaineer’s backpack were all he had carried. He had smiled at the villager, when he pushed the last of his money onto her hands and bought the boat. He didn’t need money for where he was going. 
Once there was a boy, the ocean was his soul. He searched for someone to tame the storm within. He knew, nay, he believed, nothing would bring him happiness. A new car, a posh condo, an attractive wife?  Was that true happiness or just a shade of it? “If you weren’t happy before you received a thing, you’ll never be happy with it”, he mused. The words he spoke turned into pearls, and plopped onto the ground for being too heavy. Those words didn’t reach his loved ones, so he left. In search of a land that didn’t exist and for an answer to a question he didn’t know. The lands he travelled turned into inky blots, and the people he met turned into dust. Three years since he embarked from home, he found himself in a coastal village in Denmark, partaking in the local dive bar. Dimly lit with candles, he drank deep from his mug. “You don’t seem like you’re from around here,” commented the owner of the bar as he cleaned the mugs with a dirty rag, “Are you here to try your luck with Litla Dimun?”

“Lit-what now?” He slurred, as he wiped the drool off his chin. 

“The island-mountain that every idiotic tourist thinks is worth a visit like the damn Easter island,” said the bar keep whilst shaking his head.

“Island-mountain, eh? What’s so special about it?” He asked, already losing interest.

“Aesthetically, it’s beautiful cause of the cloud that perpetually covers the mountain’s head like a blanket, and only that nobody’s ever been there, and lived to tell about it,” he said in a matter-of-fact way.

He raised his eyes, “whaddya mean? Too steep?” 

The owner laughed, “Maybe, there’s just no way to tell since no bodies have been found. The villagers will have you believe the mountain’s haunted. So many stories have been cooked up about that damn island, I don’t even know what’s true anymore. There’s just one thing I believe, if you make your way to Litla Dimun, either you’re goddamn stupid, or it’s your only option,” he said in all seriousness as he placed the last mug on the stand.

“Well, if I wanted to say something cheesy, I’d say ‘I’m a lil of both’, but I’m not that drunk,” he said as he stifled a yawn and counted out coins for his drinks. He placed them on the counter, thanked the owner, and found himself walking down the lane, flooded with moonlight. The kids flung small pebbles after him, the drunk foreign stranger. He didn’t mind, he was leaving soon anyway.
He stood at the base of Litla Dimun, and exhaled deeply. Surveying the area, he found no evidence of anybody having even ventured there. No ghost of a person’s attempt to make it to the top. Nothing. He wasn’t comfortable with this level of solitude. Is this how his life would turn out to be? A barren beach with no sign of the colourful, tortured life that he had lived? No proof that he walked on this earth? Being a nihilist was something he denied, regularly. His train of thought suggested otherwise.
He began his ascent, and watched the gentle blades of grass bend against the wind’s breeze. The slope was challenging and steep, but nothing lethal. He glanced back, saw his boat rock on the waves, in the distance. The boat looked tiny, and it was a testament to the ground he had covered. The blue ocean, glinted in the sunlight and filled his heart with a pang of longing. He wondered if the villager’s stories were true. He wondered if he’ll ever get to ride the boat back to shore, and tell the villagers his tale. Well, his choice was made, and he sort of knew what lay ahead of him. So he turned, and continued his ascent, with a frown upon his brow.
Choices.
He chose this life, and not another. He chose a life of loneliness, one where he doesn’t get to rear his own kids. A life where he doesn’t have a companion and luxuries. He chose his life. And he never truly understood this until that very moment. The ascent became too steep to walk, so he tied a rope around his waist, and began climbing. The climb itself was torture for his hands, but he tapped into his adrenaline and found himself at the top. He peered off the cliff, and steadied himself. The air was thinner than he was used to, and the height gave him vertigo. 
A meadow lay in front of him, which led him into the cloud atop this island-mountain. Walking into the cloud wasn’t at all what he thought it would be like. It was damp and cold. He felt eerie. Shapes of ghosts and witches were being imagined by his brain. He walked. He walked, but he was worried he’d walk off the top. After a while of walking, he was convinved he was in the afterlife. This was a portal to reach your end. Was this how he died? By walking into a cloud? Not as grand as he hoped it to be. Before he could scourge the area for angels with harps and halos, he saw a massive towering structure in the distance.
Intrigued.
He moved towards it, apprehensively. The shape grew larger as he walked closer. Its size wasn’t fathomable. If he had to venture a guess, he would say it was a tower, or God itself. He found himself at the base of the structure, and saw himself looking at an ancient oak tree. Its spindly branches towering over everything. The knotted trunk thicker than 5 tree trunks. He placed his palm upon the tree, and shivered with goosebumps at the thought of its age. He ran his hand over the trunk, until his fingers chanced upon an engraving. Somebody had mutilated the trunk. He knelt, and read the engraving written in an elegant handwriting:
The Girl Of Litla Dimun


Once there was a girl

Whose eyes burned like embers

In the night


She searched for someone

To fan her flames


Until then


She shines

Brighter than a thousand splendid suns

Holding on to a peice of paper

She waits



He weeped. He sobbed. He howled. 

He sat in front of the tree, cross legged. Tears streaming down his frownless face, he closed his eyes. After a long time, he finally felt the happiness he had been searching for. So he kept his eyes closed. He let the zephyretta tug at his hair, beard and clothes. He didn’t care. His eyes were shut. 
And he waited.

Guilt


​So many lives ruined

But, yet again, it happened

 

He lived his life

In a way

That made me believe

There was something inside him

 

He needed to kill

 

He lived his life

In a way

That made me believe

Everything was a story

 

Breathe in

Breathe out

 

The lamp is filled

With the midnight oil

And oh, how slowly it burns 

 

The mornings are made

To fight mountains

That stand in your way

 

A smile reveals

Stained teeth

A trophy to treasure

 

A quirk amongst many

 

Breathe in

Breathe out

 

Walls are made

To break away

For bones are made of rubble

Together they belong

 

Happiness surrounds you

For you are the source

And all that is left behind is

Regret

 

I feel the guilt

Course through my veins

Staining my skin a deep green

 

Breathe out.

A Boy And Her Flute

image

On top of a hill
A boy plays a flute

Amongst the overgrown plants
His melodies lost to the hungry jungle

Stamping his feet
Making a hypnotic rhythm

His breath quivers
As the day draws to an end

Night comes, a blanket over the hill
The boy plays a lullaby on the flute

Dawn approaches, luminescence
The boy plays to the bird’s chirps

The boy plays the only song he knows
The song she used to hum

The flute his beloved gave him
Carved with her own hands

But she is gone
And his flute keeps him company

Dusk scatters across the sky, again
The boy knows he wont last the night

He plays the flute
His farewell to this life

Witnessing the sunlight mingled with stars
He sheds a tear

As the birds begin to chirp their morning symphonies
And he’s passing into the void

He finally feels the universe in motion around him.